1 1/2 syndrome

what the hell's wrong with you?

do you have a ball and chain tied round your ankles or something?

why do you keep falling? you're always just in the same place all the time. you don't budge an inch.

i see you struggling. always struggling. with everything you do, you struggle...and yet you never win.

what's wrong with you?

you don't look so bad. you actually have a pleasant face. too bad, though, you're just not beautiful enough. people don't like nice and pleasant, you see. they like flirty, and bouncy, and voluptuous, and long curls, and sexy, and taunting, and flamboyant, and fun. they don't like nice and pleasant and simple and cute and shy.

you seem like a smart kid. you seem like you're actually quite brainy. but then, i guess, you're just not brainy enough. the things you know aren't important enough. you do know a lot of stuff...i give you that...just not the stuff everyone else cares to know about.

you write quite well, too...given the right circumstances....but then, again, as with everything about you, you don't write well enough. no one notices. the people who do, notice what you write only coz they want you to notice theirs, too.

you're always just a tad shy of success. you're an "almost" person. you almost won the contest. you almost topped your exam. you almost stood at the podium. you were almost chosen for the job.

but someone's always better than you. you're really just not good enough for the top spot.

so what the hell's wrong with you??? what do you have to do to be good enough??? why are you NEVER EVER GOOD ENOUGH???